A woman's place is in the home!

[Niluial]

What do you think? Should dad come home while mom is in the kitchen cooking and serving upon her family. Should she not go to work and spend the day at home cleaning and washing up? Is she just there to raise her family or should she be out there owning a business

Nilly

[Alatáriel]

I believe this all depends on what the woman wants to do... if she wants to stay in the home, and her husband or boyfriend or whatever can manage to earn enough money, then she should stay home and be a housewife.

If her husband/boyfriend/whatever cannot manage to make enough money, and the woman wishes to stay at home, and if she has children to raise, it is her responsibility to go out and earn money to sustain a good houshold.

If a woman wishes to work, and/or own her own busness then she should do that. It may be a man's world, but a woman is the backbone of a man, without the woman, the world would fall completly apart.

Also, if a woman has young children to raise, and still wants to work/run a busness, her place is in the home, tending to her newborn/very young children. Being raised the way I am, a child should not be left with baby-sitters all of the time. I know a family who baby-sit this one little-girl constantly, and this isn't good for a child/mother and father relationship...

[Mippin]

I believe that women have just as much right as men to go into the business world and start careers on their own. I do not believe that a woman should be the sole party in raising the family, however. It is said that the Man is the head of the house, and thusly should not he have the responsibility of raising his family as well? I think that this statement is taken a bit far, and while the man may be the head of the house, I don't think it's right to make the woman stay home and cook and clean all day, unless it is the will of that female.

[GaladrielOlden]

Right, I don't have time to write anything long just now, but...

I am very strongly opposed to this. I'm a feminist, and believe that a woman can do whatever she wishes as much as a man. I don't think that there is any obligation on a woman to sacrifice her work/whatever to raise her children. Of course, this might make the family function more smoothly, but I don't think that just because she bore the children she has to stay home and raise them till they're however old.

-Menelien

[ElberethVarda]

I think this is one of those where there is no right or wrong answer.

If the woman dosen't want to stay home, fine. She can get a job. It would be very hard for both the parents to work full time if they had young children. So the dad could stay home. All the same, it's likely that the dad won't want to do that. A good solution is for both parents to work part time.

If the woman would like to stay home, coolness. The dad can work and the mom can take care of the kids, housework, etc. Thisis also a good oppurtunity for hoeschooling.

[Novnarwen]

All the same, it's likely that the dad won't want to do that

Actually, it's getting more popular for the men to stay home with the children!

I believe that it's both parents responsibility to take care of the children, and there should be no such things as:"It's likely that the dad won't do that" (As in staying home)

However, if one of them volunteers to stay home, that's cool. But I honestly believe it's healthy to be both at home and work,

Nova

[Cenerue]

I think if they can afford it and if that's what she wants, the woman should be able to stay home. Especially if she has kids, she should stay home with them cause that's already a full time job.

[Nurumaiel]

Traditionally, yes, a woman's place is in the home, but things have been changing somewhat. There is one thing that hasn't changed though: a mother of a child is the child's mother, and the children need their mother. Children need their father, too, of course, but children need their mother. I know several lovely woman who go to work, but they all have jobs that in some way involve them with their children (usually working at the school their children attend). If I were pushed in a situation where I had to work, I would do my level best to get a job where I'd still be with my children most of the time (that is to say, when I do have children, and that is to say, if I get married in opposed to entering a religious order).

The children are a mother's first duty.

Also, it must be taken to account that there is no higher and more honourable job than the raising of children. I wonder if I go so far as to say the job of raising children is the best and highest job in the world, even higher than the jobs which usually get a lot of praise (being a soldier, firefighter, etc.). A mother brings life into the world, raises that life to be a good person, and saves that life from the death it would face if it were tossed in the gutter. It's hard work, too. My mother is raising seven children, one of them delayed and with a lot of medical situations, all of them homeschooled, and she hardly ever gets a free moment. Yet I have heard comments from mothers who just saw their last little baby out of high school, and they say that though it was hard they're a-weeping now because they miss it so much.

Single woman, of course, can work as they like, for they don't have any responsibilities in the home. Mothers, too, I would allow to work, providing that they recall that their first duty in their children. The right to work and leave your children behind doesn't really matter. Faith, a soldier could whine and cry that he has a right to run off and have some fun when he's supposed to be on duty, but he would get a very favourable answer, because his first and foremost duty is his work, what he's been ordered to do. A mother has much of the same thing... she wants to go off and leave the hard task, watching her children, but it's her duty to watch her children and she has to push aside personal pleasures.

Points to consider:
--- A woman can work, but should not if it means neglecting her children in any way, because her children are her first duty and they depend on her a lot.
--- The job of a mother is the highest and most honourable job
--- The job of a mother is actually a very wonderful and enjoyable job, though sadly lots of mothers don't realize it until their children are all grown

As far as fathers go, I'll avoid that, as it isn't the subject of the debate. But I will say this: after the first few children a woman gets used to carrying a baby around and watching after the children, but a young woman with her first baby has a rough time of it. Babies ALWAYS want to be carried and petted and loved, and when my newest little brother was born I thought my arms were going to fall off after just one hour of taking care of him (mamma had to pay a lot of attention to the medically impaired child, so we took turns watching the baby; still, she had the main task of it!). It's nice for first-time mothers to have their husband about to relieve them of their burden for a few minutes. You pick a baby up and cry out, 'He's as light as a feather!' but after a few hours of carrying him with you everywhere you go, up and down and around and around, he feels like he's ten times heavier than you are. So, as far as fathers go, their main task is to work and provide for the family, but when they get home from work it would be nice if they weren't object to holding the baby to relieve his poor little lassie of the burden and strain for a bit.

As for me, if I don't enter a religious order, I intend to get married and have as many children as God blesses me with (and hopefully He wants me to have many!), and then stay at home with them whenever possible, and homeschool them as well, and not even blink because I don't want to lose that precious time with them. Oh, it will be hard, and mayhaps at times I'd rather be out doing work and having more 'fun,' but I'd always bring to mind that I have the most honourable work on the earth, and that soldiers of any kind have to stay on duty. You don't need to be a soldier to be a war-hero. There are many kinds of heroes, and many kinds of wars, and the most heroic heroes I know are the mothers who raised big families without a breath of complaint, without backing away even when things seemed hardest, and who stuck to their duty, and who eventually realized that motherhood is beautiful, beautiful, and even more beautiful.

[Novnarwen]

*pops in to write a short comment*

From Nurumaiel's post

The children are a mother's first duty.

The children are the mother's and the father's[/i] first duty. It takes two to make a child. Therefore, they have the same responsibility to raise the child and give the child what he/she needs.

[Nurumaiel]

Yes, Novnarwen, just so, but look what I said earlier:

As far as fathers go, I'll avoid that, as it isn't the subject of the debate.

We're not really supposed to be talking about the fathers.

Yet, in reply to what you've said, I will speak on a subject that is rather off-topic and I will say:

I do agree. The children are the father's first duty, too. That's usually why he works. To provide for the family. It's good, very good, for the children to have their father around, but the children need their mother. Especially younger children. The mother is the primary carekeeper. They depend upon their mother most of all. Mothers are depended upon for food, etc., and formula cannot be compared to the mother's milk.

Now, when the child gets older, it's not as crucial. It might be odd for them, being primarily taken care of the mother and then abruptly having the father as the main caretaker, but they could get used to it, because their fathers wouldn't be absolute strangers to them. Still, they should have at least one parent around them, be it father or mother.

Personally I think it's best for both the parents to be around, but nowadays it's a really difficult thing to be done. I'm blessed enough to have a father who works at home, but in my younger years he had to go off to work like most men. That, I think, is where 'then' has advantages over 'now.' In days gone by the fathers would work at home, as farmers, or carpenters, or some such trade, and they'd own their little business and teach their sons the trade, and both parents would be about.

So, Novnarwen, I am indeed agreeing with you, but I'm explaining what I meant by the statement. Babies and little children need their mothers as the primary carekeepers, even if it's nice for the father to be about. When the children are older, the parents could reverse roles, though I don't think it's a good thing for both of them to work away from home, unless one of them has a job that is involved with their children. At all times, the children are the first duty of the parents. But, again, babies and little children need their mothers to take care of them a lot more than they need their fathers.

[Elentari]

To be quite honest, I would love to be a house-wife. But it's just not an option these days, in the UK at least. Both parents have to go out to work to support a family, so mothers go back to work too soon after having a baby, and children grow up not really spending time with their parents and are forced to grow up too fast. The world sucks. More rights for women who want to stay at home with their family rather than being forced to let their job become their number 1 priority.

| tari

[Dragoneyes]

Things I learnt in psychology: So long as the child has their mother or father (both would be good but that's optional) with them for the first year or so, they should be fine. After that, as long as they're not left alone, some kind of daycare would be fine.

You have to remember that Victorian parents spent just two hours a day with their children yet their relationships were just fine. It's not the quantity of time, it's the quality.

Since when did the job become the number one priority? It's quite easy to get a job that you don't have to work for at home and thus separate your two lives quite cleanly. When does your job become more important than everything else? Only really stupid people would think that.

About children growing up to fast; that's a completely different matter and nothing to do with parents going to work when the children are young.

As for me, I'd say that the mothers should work if they want. Of course, once they've recovered from the strains of child-bearing and looking after (I hear it can be quite a strain).

[Nurumaiel]

Dragoneyes,

It depends on what you mean by 'fine.' Sure, the child won't die, but a mother's care is really a very crucial thing for a very young child. And again, they may not die in daycare, but it doesn't mean it's the best thing.

Essentially, I am agreeing with you. It's not unheard of that a child is raised by it's father and grows up fine (goodness, sometimes the mother is dead and can't do a thing); that is, grows up to be a fine fellow. But mothers really are special to the babies. After all, the mother's are the ones who gave birth to the babes in the first place, and if they're about they nurse, etc. About this house we refer to them as 'Mamma-babies.'

Or maybe our babies are just spoiled and get their Mamma too much.

About children growing up to fast; that's a completely different matter and nothing to do with parents going to work when the children are young.

You misunderstand me. This is a very good reason why the mother should try to avoid going to work when her children are babies (if possible). I'm making a point that it doesn't mean the woman is sacrificing all her peace and happiness, but that she will also benefit from it. So, yes, this does have to do with the current matter, though I apologize for expressing myself in an unclear manner.

(I hear it can be quite a strain).

And you hear right. Not that I have any experience, aside from the experiences of being an elder sister, but one only has to watch my mamma to see how hard it is, and then again how much of a hero a woman can be in the task of raising children!

To be quite honest, I would love to be a house-wife.

A girl who shares my dream! I only know two others.. I mean, who have said it openly. The next group says nothing on the matter, and the next group is wholly against raising children. It's the dream of my life.

But it's just not an option these days, in the UK at least.

I can't even begin to imagine how awful that would be. But these days doesn't mean in the future, does it? You're not marrying age yet, are you? I mean, not the usual marrying age (how come most of the girls I know are getting married at about 17 or 18?). Maybe things will get better.

Oh dear. I will run away from my off-topic-ness, and so then run away entirely to get something to eat.

I congratulate myself (conceited?), however, on being very open and liberal on my views of this subject, which can be hastily taken to the extremes on either side. I know my own dream is to stay at home all the day with my children, but it doesn't make me condemn working women! I know people who condemn working women, and people who condemn woman who stay at home with the children (they're classified as miserable woman who have no freedom in their lives). I congratulate all of you for not taking it to extremes and going about condemning the opposite side. It is a pleasant thing. A toast to you, whether you take alcohol, ginger ale, coffee, or tea.

(Apologies... I spent a late night toasting to various things and I'm not quite out of the inclination to toast yet... it's flattering, though, isn't it? ;D )

[GaladrielOlden]

I'm not at either extreme, methinks. I want to have children, when I get older, very much. Now, I don't know what I'd do if I had children, because I've never had that sort of experience. But I know that I'd, IF POSSIBLE, stay home with my kid(s) till they were four or five, maybe, and then get back to work. Because, well, yes, taking care of your kids is important, but if there's no money to take care of them WITH, that ought to be a priority as well. Also, too much time with kids just might drive me nuts.

-Menelien

[ElberethVarda]

I believe that children should be the equal responsibility of both parents. As somone said earlier, it takes two to make a child. Therefore, it should take two to raise them. And I disagree when people say that the mother is the most crucial.

Girls who do not have a good relationship with their father throughout their life usually try to find male attention elsewhere. This happened to my best friend, whose father paid no attention to her, being "busy" with his job, and she looked elsewhere, and in the wrong way. It is not good. They need thier father to talk with, and to learn from, because the mother only knows so much about the way men are.