Spoofs

[Lëowen]

A question- would anyone mind if I posted my as-of-yet-unfinished fanfic? It's a bit of a spoof, involving a Ringwraith named Oliver and his terrifying mount, the flying squirrel Chippy. I'm just asking because it's not finished yet...

[Aranel of Mirkwood]

*snork* Sounds funny; by all means post it! ;D

Abedithon le,

~*~Aranel~*~

[ElberethVarda]

I'm still waiting for that to be finished. *sigh*

[Eowyn Skywalker]

Another question: is it okay to post crossover spoofs? I have wrote many... mwha-ha-ha. Star Wars and the Matrix crossovers with LotR mainly.
;D Ooo! An evil looking smilly! (At least to me...)
-Eowyn Skywalker

[Elentari]

Of course you can! don't see y not

[Eowyn Skywalker]

mwha-ha-ha-ha... yay! I can post all my stupid spoofs, takes, and whatnot!!!! (Though not all of them are finished...) (Laughs evilly...)

No, I don't know why I did that. Who cares? Maybe I'll start off with my two finished ones, and then I'll post the One Kubasa to Rule them All, or The Mirror of Galadriel: The True version. (Dunno which one. Kubasa is a retelling of the Fellowship, but very odd. And Mirror is just that. It's a SW crossed with LOTR... and the first part is taken from the movie and then it becomes... odd.)

And to all you who like LOTR as exact as it was wrote, then skip this story, and the next... and the next... why are you even in this thread???? This story is AU, most of mine are... and I KNOW that Aragorn didn't have a castle, and all the wraiths were killed... etc.

***

Why Hobbits shouldn’t play with Fireworks in castles!

In the Shire…

Merry: Hey, Pip! We’ve had a lot of practise with Fireworks. We should use them for good reasons.

Pippin: If you call blowing up a tent practise, yah I guess we have. What do you mean?

Merry: We’ll take them with us to Mordor.

Pippin: Good idea!!!

But Frodo and Sam leave without them…

When Merry and Pippin reach Minas Tirath, Merry is sick. Pippin tries to cheer him up with a BIG explosion…

Pippin: Well… I’ve still got those fireworks. Maybe Merry would like those.

His thoughts were all fine and dandy, but he left out one thing…

Pippin: Well, this should do it. Merry’s sure to see the explosion from his room…

Pippin becomes a hero by… OOPS!... he blows up three of the Nazgul… and scares away all the orcs! The battle is over!!! But, because he set off the fireworks in the house, he blows up King Aragorn’s castle…

Aragorn: MY CASTLE!?!?

Gandalf: Jeez, that looked like one of my fireworks!

Pippin: Oops!

Aragorn: You fool of a Took!!!

Pippin: I didn’t MEAN to blow up the castle. Honest!!!

Eowyn: You saved us!!!

Aragorn: I WANT MY CASTLE BACK!!!!!

Pippin: I didn’t know it was flammable!

Gandalf: Pippin, I’d run if I were you!!!

Pippin: Goodbye!!!

…And scares Merry so badly, Merry never speaks to Pippin again!

Eowyn: But he did kill the ring wraith!!!

Pippin: I DIDN’T MEAN TO BLOW UP THE CASTLE!!! HONEST!!!!

The end! Well... not quite the end...
***

There are two following stories, one's not quite finished. The next will be: What Happens when Gimli plays with fireworks...
And then, I think I'll do Elrond... Aragorn and his poor castle... snrk.

-Eowyn Skywalker

[Eowyn Skywalker]

(This one is better. Longer, but better.)

***

What happens when you give Gimli Fireworks...

(Gimli: Hmm... fireworks you say?
Author: Oh shut up. I’m trying to tell a story.
Gimli: Where is Middle-earth whould I get fireworks?!
Author: Oh, I don’t know. Think of that yourself. I’m writing the story. You. Are. Not.
Gimli: Fine, fine. Carry on.)

One day... Gimli, son of Gloin was in the Shire. How he got to the Shire, I really have no clue, so let’s say that his father was in the Shire.

Somehow Gloin got ahold of some of Gandalf’s dragon fireworks... And gave them to Gimli as a birthday gift.

Many years passed by, and Gimli carried these with him for all these years... Until, the war of the ring...

When they were in Minas Tirith, Gimli remembered the fireworks...

Gimli: Well, why should Pippin have all the fun. He got to blow up Lord Aragorn’s castle. Why can’t I ever have fun? All I get to do is tell Legolas that an Oliphant only counts as one kill. But wait... I could do something too...

Denethor: IT’S MY CASTLE!!!! MINE!!!! GONDOR IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Gimli: Jeez, why are there so many excited marks?
Author: Pippin never complained when I wrote his story.
Gimli: Because he wasn’t around to.
Author: Trust me, that needed the excited marks.)

Gimli: I would stay still if I were you, Master Steward.

(Gimli: Ha ha. Very. Funny.)

Denethor: GONDOR IS MINE!!!! MWHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!

Gimli: Where did I put those fireworks?

Aragorn: HOW DARE YOU BLOW UP “MY” CASTLE!!!!

Pippin: I DIDN’T MEAN TO!!! HONEST!!!!!

Denethor: IT’S MY CASTLE!!!!! MY OWN!!!!!

Gollum: My precious!!!! At last, in death, it is ours again!

Denethor: MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY!!!! THERE’S AN UGLY SLIMY CREATURE HERE!!!! HAAALLLLLPPPPPP!

Gollum: What? It’s only a dwarf!

Gimli: Huph! Now how do these things work, anyhow... Oops!

Pippin: GIMLI NO!!!!!

Aragorn: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Legolas: AKKKKKK!!!!

Gandalf: WHAT THE?!?!?!?!

Merry: AHHHHHHHHHKKKKKK!!!!!

Faramir: Éowyn, I love you!!!!

Éowyn: WATCH OUT FOR THE DRAGON!!!!!

(In Rivendell:
Bilbo: Nonsense: There hasn’t been a dragon in these parts since...

Elrond: Jeez, I will have to talk to that wizard.

Gandalf (through Palantìr) FOOL OF A DWARF!!!!)

Gimli: Oops! Heh heh!

Pippin: Umm, Gim, next time: you stick it in the ground.

Gimli: It was in the ground

Pippin: Outside!

Gimli: Oh.

Faramir: GET BEHIND ME, MILADY!!! I’LL SAVE YOU!!!!
Éowyn: You are so limp.

Faramir: Well, it was the only pickup line I could think of.

Éowyn: Oh well. <Kisses him>

Faramir: ?... Ahh...

Aragorn: ARRRRGGGG!!! NOW I’LL HAVE TO BUILD ANOTHER CASTLE!!!!

Denethor: IT’S MINE!!! HAHAHA!!!!!

Pippin: You’re dead. I saw you die!!! Mwh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!

Gollum: Is it tasty, precious? Is it crunchy?

Frodo: Noooooooooo!!! He’s haunting me!!!!!!

Gollum: When I die, I will only come back as more powerful! I am Smeagol, Jedi knight!

Frodo: HAAAALLLLLPPPPPPP!!!

Gollum: MWHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

Gandalf: Um, go back to the shadow? You shall not pass?

Sam: Mr. Gandalf, that was limp.

Frodo: AKKKKKK!!!!! GOLLUM IS A JEDI KNIGHT!!!!!

Sam: Actually, Mr. Frodo, he’s an evil Agent. That’s Agent Stinker, ‘e is. Tried to make me swallow a red pill, he did.

Gandalf: Is it secret, is it safe?

Frodo: AKKKKKK!!!!!

Gimli: Um, Pippin. Was that my fireworks?

Pippin: Uh-huh! Now we can be a team!

Gimli: Oh, sure. Okay!

Aragorn: MY CASTLE!!! MY PRECIOUS CASTLE!!! <Sob> IT’S MINE!!! YOU DESTROYED IT!!!!! MY PRECIOUS!!!!

Arwen: Eh-hem!

Aragorn: My precious... Oh... Ehh... ahem... La-de-da...

Elrond: Oh well, we can go home now.

Arwen: I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD DO THIS, YOU TRAITOR!!!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!!!!! YOU LOVE SOMEONE ELSE!!!! Hmmph!

Éowyn: Huh? He’s no longer claimed? YYYYYEEEEESSSSSS!!!! OH, ARAGORN!!!!!!!

Faramir: Huh? But, Éowyn...? Hey... Arwen’s kinda cute...

Arwen: Gee... Who’s that guy...

Faramir: Hmm...

Arwen: Hmm...

Elrond <Begins hitting head on medal post that appeared from nowhere>: It was inevitable... It was inevitable... Must kill Mr. Aragorn... It was purposeful... It was inevitable...

Aragorn: But Arwen?!?

Éowyn: Oh, Aragorn, my Lord...

Gimli: Jeez, these fireworks are dangerous!

Denethor: THAT WAS MY CASTLE!!!!!

Gollum: Oh, you’re dead too, you know...

Denethor: Don’t remind me.

Elrond: It was inevitable... Arwen cannot marry Aragorn. I said that all my life, and she’s dead set: ‘No, Ada. I’m marrying Aragorn. And now she goes and dumps him... And falls for ANOTHER mortal. It was inevitable...

Aragorn: Arwen, hunny???

Éowyn: My Lord, look at me!!! I love you!!!!!

Aragorn: Arwen, you don’t understand!!!!

Éowyn: Am I that ugly?!?!?!?! Jeez, people these days!!! Can’t even get a hobbit to love you!

Pippin: I resent that!

Gandalf: Where do people get my fireworks. I’ve never retailed them!

Aragorn: That was my second castle... And my WIFE TO BE!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Denethor: And he’s going to be king?

Frodo: NOOOO!!!! NOT RING!!! AKKKKKKK!!!!

Denethor: I said ‘King’, you dimwited halfling.

Frodo: Oh.

Sam: Oh well. Come on, Rosie, let’s get married.

Rosie: Okay, Sam.

Sam: Akkk!!! Where did you come from????

Rosie: You called, luv. Let us marry today, and we will become king and queen.

Sam: Oh. Okay!

Aragorn: NOOO!!! I AM KING!!!! KING!!!! YOU CANNOT TAKE IT FROM ME!!!!

Gandalf: Actually, I think the hobbit has more sense than you!

Aragorn: IT’S MINE BY RIGHT!!!! ARRRGGGGGGG!!!!!

Gimli: Remind me to never play with fireworks again.

Pippin: Okay. Never play with fireworks again.

Arwen: Ada, I am marrying Faramir now!

Elrond: Nooooooooooo!!!!!!

Aragorn: Noooooooo!!!!

Éowyn: He just cannot see me! <Sob> Oh, well. Come on, Pip. Let’s go and get married!

Pippin: Why?

Éowyn: Because you are cute, that’s why.

Gimli: And what’s wrong with me?

Éowyn: You’ve got a beard. Sorry, Gim. <Kisses him>. I’d just as soon kiss a Wookiee!

Gimli: Oh well. I’ll go and steal a Palantìr instead.

Éowyn: Okay.

Gandalf: And, Samwise Gamgee of the Shire, I name you king of Gondor!

Sam: Cool!

Rosie: AND I WILL BECOME POWERFUL!!!

Aragorn: IT’S MY THRONE!!!MIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNE!!!!!!!!!

Frodo: Sam’s king now? That was fast!

Gandalf: Ah, yes. Now the world will be ruled by halflings!

Éowyn: Can you marry me and Pippin?

Gandalf: Sure. I might as well change the ending some more!

Diamond: But... Pippin’s MINE!!!!

Éowyn: Tough!

Diamond: Oh GIMLI!!!!!! <Kiss>

Gimli: Ugg.

Pippin: Oooooo.

Gimli: HEY, LEGOLAS!!!!! TWO SO FAR!!!!

Legolas: REAAALLLLLYYY!!! I’M ON SEVENTEEN!!!!

Gimli: ALL RIGHT, THIS MEANS WAR!!!!!

The End.

(Gimli: She kissed me?!
Author: Don’t let it go to your head!)
***

Yes... that's how I write... mwha-ha. Now I must try to finish that last chapter.
-Eowyn Skywalker, Jedi Padawan... no wait, that's Tiana's job...

[Elentari]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Lamao!! They are so great! I expecially LOVE the 2nd one! I love crazy-movie-style-script-fanfics!

[Tirinwen]

That was Hilarious!! MORE MORE!!! ;D