Post by Elentari on Oct 25, 2004 14:18:21 GMT -5
A chill breeze was whispering in the air, moving through the tatty, yet stylish, black robes that sat atop a dark, well groomed mare. Now, normally I would get very confused if I saw black robes sitting on a horse, but for once my eyes were not deceiving me. For you see, under those black robes hides a creature more fearsome than a woman who's looked in the mirror first thing in the morning. A Nazgirl, neither pretty nor ugly, but very, very vain. Nine crowns of power were given to the Nine, once beauty queens, who above all desire to be popular and the centre of attention. But they were each of them deceived. The Dark Lady Sauronia corrupted their hearts with false rumours and promises of fixing beauty pageants. They became wraiths, invisible to our eyes (which makes them even more vicious, for they long to show off their looks) and are slaves to the Dark Lady Sauronia.
Now this particular wraith, wraith number six to be precise, goes by a very odd name that even the most wise and knowledgeable scholars (excluding Gandëwen the Pink) can find no historical roots or a meaning for. This alone renders the wraith unusual, but the fact it even has a name, well that is shocking. I mean, if I was a Dark Lady (which I am most definitely not, and if anyone tells you otherwise, they are lying) I wouldn't give my slaves names in case they decided to develop a personality as well. Unfortunately for Sauronia, this is exactly what her wraiths did. The wraith in question, number six, developed a most unusual personality, for all the other Nazgirls hate men, yet Sexay has to be dragged away from men before they find out she's a wraith. How she developed a personality like that from a name like Sexay we will never know, for we do know the origins of that name...
So it was that Sexay, wraith number six, sat on her dark, well groomed black mare, which she was stupid enough to name Libitina, meaning goddess of war, so it is an extremely aggressive horse that knows better battle tactics than Sexay does. A crossroads loomed in front of Sexay on the path she was following, and through the thick mist that followed her most places she saw a signpost.
"Finally," whispered Sexay with a sigh of relief. It wasn't quiet enough though to escape the ears of Libitina, who snorted as if to say, "You may be lost, but I know exactly where we are and where we're going, but you're too stupid to realise that if you just let me lead the way, we'd get there much quicker. But as it happens, you are taking us on a ridiculously long route that will take us stupidly close to exactly where we don't want to be."
You see, Sexay was headed to the Shire, where she hoped to meet up with her fellow Nazgirls. She had been with them when Sauronia sent them out from the gates of Mordor, but her strange attraction to mortal men had caused her to become separated from them. Unfortunately for Sexay the men she had seen were long dead, for she had been passing through the dead Marshes at the time. Her journey out of the marshes was a difficult one, because the wraiths had been following a guide, and since she was no longer with the wraiths or guide, she would have to find her way out the hard way.
Never having been a very clever wraith, Sexay had taken a very strange route toward, or rather away from, the Shire. The map below was found several years into the 4th Age, and depicts Sexay’s journey exactly. Historians believe this map to have been drawn up by Libitina because of strange markings on the map and the odd way the line moves. However, other theories are that a sixteen year old girl named Tari found the map on Google and added the line on a graphics program called Paint. This theory was, of course, dismissed due to lack of evidence and the fact that no one in Middle Earth has heard of “Google” or “graphics program”. The theorist was later locked away in the Mirkwood Institute for the Mentally Unsound.
The map shows that Sexay, hating what water does to her make-up (waterproof make-up did not exist then, or even now. What is it? How do I even know that it could exist? I hope the Mirkwood Institute for the Mentally Unsound don’t here about this…) *ahem* Anyway… So on her journey, Sexay avoided crossing rivers for as much of it as she could. She only properly crossed a river at the Old Ford near Mirkwood. From here she travelled south toward the Gap of Rohan then, remembering she’d have to pass close to Isengard, retraced her steps and crossed the mountain pass near the Old Ford. Of course, by the time she remembered this would lead her almost into Rivendell, she’d already crossed the pass and really couldn’t be bothered to turn around and go back. By this time in the journey, Libitina had begun to get fed up with being lost, and was cunningly, and very much secretly, leading Sexay in the right direction toward the Shire. Eventually they reached Weathertop, but by this time Sexay was utterly baffled about how they got there, and kept giving Libitina questioning looks wondering if it was the mare’s doing, then dismissed such an idea before the Mirkwood IMU found out. She decided it was best to wait here for her fellow Nazgirls to return, for return that way they must, for it is written in the books.
And so begins the tale of the Female Fellowship, a tale of courage, beauty and slap-fights. Write my pretties, write like no other servant of the Dark Lady Elen- erm… Like no other member of Imladris has written comedy before! Bwahahahahaha! *ahem* Enjoy.
Now this particular wraith, wraith number six to be precise, goes by a very odd name that even the most wise and knowledgeable scholars (excluding Gandëwen the Pink) can find no historical roots or a meaning for. This alone renders the wraith unusual, but the fact it even has a name, well that is shocking. I mean, if I was a Dark Lady (which I am most definitely not, and if anyone tells you otherwise, they are lying) I wouldn't give my slaves names in case they decided to develop a personality as well. Unfortunately for Sauronia, this is exactly what her wraiths did. The wraith in question, number six, developed a most unusual personality, for all the other Nazgirls hate men, yet Sexay has to be dragged away from men before they find out she's a wraith. How she developed a personality like that from a name like Sexay we will never know, for we do know the origins of that name...
So it was that Sexay, wraith number six, sat on her dark, well groomed black mare, which she was stupid enough to name Libitina, meaning goddess of war, so it is an extremely aggressive horse that knows better battle tactics than Sexay does. A crossroads loomed in front of Sexay on the path she was following, and through the thick mist that followed her most places she saw a signpost.
"Finally," whispered Sexay with a sigh of relief. It wasn't quiet enough though to escape the ears of Libitina, who snorted as if to say, "You may be lost, but I know exactly where we are and where we're going, but you're too stupid to realise that if you just let me lead the way, we'd get there much quicker. But as it happens, you are taking us on a ridiculously long route that will take us stupidly close to exactly where we don't want to be."
You see, Sexay was headed to the Shire, where she hoped to meet up with her fellow Nazgirls. She had been with them when Sauronia sent them out from the gates of Mordor, but her strange attraction to mortal men had caused her to become separated from them. Unfortunately for Sexay the men she had seen were long dead, for she had been passing through the dead Marshes at the time. Her journey out of the marshes was a difficult one, because the wraiths had been following a guide, and since she was no longer with the wraiths or guide, she would have to find her way out the hard way.
Never having been a very clever wraith, Sexay had taken a very strange route toward, or rather away from, the Shire. The map below was found several years into the 4th Age, and depicts Sexay’s journey exactly. Historians believe this map to have been drawn up by Libitina because of strange markings on the map and the odd way the line moves. However, other theories are that a sixteen year old girl named Tari found the map on Google and added the line on a graphics program called Paint. This theory was, of course, dismissed due to lack of evidence and the fact that no one in Middle Earth has heard of “Google” or “graphics program”. The theorist was later locked away in the Mirkwood Institute for the Mentally Unsound.
The map shows that Sexay, hating what water does to her make-up (waterproof make-up did not exist then, or even now. What is it? How do I even know that it could exist? I hope the Mirkwood Institute for the Mentally Unsound don’t here about this…) *ahem* Anyway… So on her journey, Sexay avoided crossing rivers for as much of it as she could. She only properly crossed a river at the Old Ford near Mirkwood. From here she travelled south toward the Gap of Rohan then, remembering she’d have to pass close to Isengard, retraced her steps and crossed the mountain pass near the Old Ford. Of course, by the time she remembered this would lead her almost into Rivendell, she’d already crossed the pass and really couldn’t be bothered to turn around and go back. By this time in the journey, Libitina had begun to get fed up with being lost, and was cunningly, and very much secretly, leading Sexay in the right direction toward the Shire. Eventually they reached Weathertop, but by this time Sexay was utterly baffled about how they got there, and kept giving Libitina questioning looks wondering if it was the mare’s doing, then dismissed such an idea before the Mirkwood IMU found out. She decided it was best to wait here for her fellow Nazgirls to return, for return that way they must, for it is written in the books.
And so begins the tale of the Female Fellowship, a tale of courage, beauty and slap-fights. Write my pretties, write like no other servant of the Dark Lady Elen- erm… Like no other member of Imladris has written comedy before! Bwahahahahaha! *ahem* Enjoy.
