Post by Eowyn Skywalker on Mar 17, 2004 19:31:27 GMT -5
Oh Precious. As Sang by Gollum, to the tune of 'Oh Santa'. (Veggie Tales Tune)
Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Gollum, the part of the show where Gollum comes out and sings a silly song. It's Midyears Eve, and Gollum is anxiously awaiting the arrival of his Precious Ring with a plate full of raw fish.
Gollum: Oh Preciousss! I can't wait for you to come. I just can't wait for you to come, and I've got fishesss, three yummy fishesss. Just for me for when you come, only for me for when you come... Because I'm hungry...
(Three knocks sound upon the door... err... I mean rock!)
Gollum: Could that be My Preciousss? Could that be... it!? Could it be the one that eats away a hobbit-like creature like me... A good hobbit-like creature like me-ee!
Narrator: Gollum is surprised to be greeted not by his Precious (sss), but a fat hobbit cook!
Gollum: Who are you?
Fat hobbit: I'm a hobbit, and I've come to boil your taters! Oh yes, I've come to boil your taters! And I've come to fry your fishes, and stew your conies! So stand back-- step aside, you smelly creature, and let me in!
Narrator: Although annoyed by the intruder, in the lust for his Precious, Gollum makes an offering...
Gollum: I'm not a gardener. I have no tatersss, my fatisssh friend, but I have fishesss! Three yummy fishesss! And I don't have coniesss... but please take this, my fatish friend, cook one of thesse my fatissh friend. They are for me-ee... but you may have one!
Narrator: The hobbit (Sam) is truely touched by Gollum's good will, but Gollum, although momentarily distracted, is still excited about seeing his Precious.
Gollum (Sam): Oh Precious!
(I'm a hobbit)
I can't wait for you to come.
(And I came to boil your taters)
I just can't wait for you to come!
(Oh yes, I came to boil your taters)
And I've got fishesss!
(You shared a fishy)
Two yummy fishessss,
(A yummy fishy!)
Just for me for when you come,
(Though I'd love to fry your fish,)
Only for me for when you come,
(That's not for me to wish!)
Both: Because I'm hungry!!!
(Another knock sounds upon the do... I mean rock!)
Gollum: Could that be My Preciousss? Could that be... it!? Could it be the one that eats away a hobbit-like creature like me... A good hobbit-like creature like me-ee!
Narrator: Once again it is not his Precious who has come to Gollum's door, but this time a savage Ranger!
Gollum: Who are you?!
Ranger: I'm a Ranger! And I've come to kill your orcs! Oh yes, I've come to kill your orcs! And I've come to make you bath, and steal your evil rings! And I've come to... uh, stomp on your hole... And tie you up! Oi!
Narrator: Although quite frightened by the intruder, in the lust for his Precious, Gollum makes an offering.
Gollum: I don't have orcs. I NEVER bath, my Ranger friend, (?) but I have fishesss... Two yummy fishesss!And I don't have rings... but please take this, my Ranger friend, eat one of these, my Ranger friend. They are for me-ee... But you may have one!
Narrator: The Ranger (Aragorn) is also touched by Gollum's good will, but Gollum's thoughts are still with his Precious.
Gollum (Aragorn): Oh Precious!
(I'm a Ranger!)
I can't wait for you to come!
(Oh yes, I came to kill your orcs!)
I've got a fisshy.
(You shared a fishy)
A yummy fisshy
(A yummy fishy)
Just for me for when you come.
(Though I'd love to tie you up,)
Only for me for when you come.
(I think you're quite in luck)
Both: Because I'm hungry!!!
(Another knock sounds at the rock!)
Gollum: Could that be Precious? Could that be IT! Could it be the one that eats away a hobbit-like creature like me... A good hobbit-like creature like me-ee!
Narrator: Gollum is now greeted by an agent of the Isari-from-over-the-seas!
Gollum: Who are you??
IOS agent: I'm Gandalf! And I've come to zap your...
(Gollum slams rock door in his face!)
Gollum: Oh Precious! I can't wait for you to come. I just can't wait for you to come...
(Frodo walks in, holding the ring, and he looks like he was hypnotized, because his eyes are all funny!)
Gollum (staring at the ring): It's finally Precious! It's finally come! At last! The one who eats away a hobbit-like creature like me... A good hobbit-like creature like me-ee!
Voice of the Ring: I'm the evil ring! And I've come to drive you nuts! Oh yes, I've come to drive you nuts. And I've come to eat you away Oh, oh, oh, oh! And I've come to freak you all out. And speak in... Black Speech... Wait-a-minute?? Isn't that Frodo's cloak? And what...
Frodo starts talking over the ring: And what are you doing with my SWORD?! So you're the ones...!!!
Sam: Wait-a-minute! I can explain...
Aragorn: We've CHANGED!!!
Frodo: Nobody messes with me, or MY ring!!! You know that, don't you? You've been very evil... AND I'M WRITING A BOOK!!!
Frodo chases them out of the hole, shouting, while Sam and Aragorn shout for help. Gollum looks after them, shocked. Gandalf walks back in.
Gandalf: Did you cook that?
Gollum: (Shakes head)
Gandalf zaps it, and walks away!
Gollum: I'm still HUNGRY!!!
The End
Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Gollum, the part of the show where Gollum comes out and sings a silly song. It's Midyears Eve, and Gollum is anxiously awaiting the arrival of his Precious Ring with a plate full of raw fish.
Gollum: Oh Preciousss! I can't wait for you to come. I just can't wait for you to come, and I've got fishesss, three yummy fishesss. Just for me for when you come, only for me for when you come... Because I'm hungry...
(Three knocks sound upon the door... err... I mean rock!)
Gollum: Could that be My Preciousss? Could that be... it!? Could it be the one that eats away a hobbit-like creature like me... A good hobbit-like creature like me-ee!
Narrator: Gollum is surprised to be greeted not by his Precious (sss), but a fat hobbit cook!
Gollum: Who are you?
Fat hobbit: I'm a hobbit, and I've come to boil your taters! Oh yes, I've come to boil your taters! And I've come to fry your fishes, and stew your conies! So stand back-- step aside, you smelly creature, and let me in!
Narrator: Although annoyed by the intruder, in the lust for his Precious, Gollum makes an offering...
Gollum: I'm not a gardener. I have no tatersss, my fatisssh friend, but I have fishesss! Three yummy fishesss! And I don't have coniesss... but please take this, my fatish friend, cook one of thesse my fatissh friend. They are for me-ee... but you may have one!
Narrator: The hobbit (Sam) is truely touched by Gollum's good will, but Gollum, although momentarily distracted, is still excited about seeing his Precious.
Gollum (Sam): Oh Precious!
(I'm a hobbit)
I can't wait for you to come.
(And I came to boil your taters)
I just can't wait for you to come!
(Oh yes, I came to boil your taters)
And I've got fishesss!
(You shared a fishy)
Two yummy fishessss,
(A yummy fishy!)
Just for me for when you come,
(Though I'd love to fry your fish,)
Only for me for when you come,
(That's not for me to wish!)
Both: Because I'm hungry!!!
(Another knock sounds upon the do... I mean rock!)
Gollum: Could that be My Preciousss? Could that be... it!? Could it be the one that eats away a hobbit-like creature like me... A good hobbit-like creature like me-ee!
Narrator: Once again it is not his Precious who has come to Gollum's door, but this time a savage Ranger!
Gollum: Who are you?!
Ranger: I'm a Ranger! And I've come to kill your orcs! Oh yes, I've come to kill your orcs! And I've come to make you bath, and steal your evil rings! And I've come to... uh, stomp on your hole... And tie you up! Oi!
Narrator: Although quite frightened by the intruder, in the lust for his Precious, Gollum makes an offering.
Gollum: I don't have orcs. I NEVER bath, my Ranger friend, (?) but I have fishesss... Two yummy fishesss!And I don't have rings... but please take this, my Ranger friend, eat one of these, my Ranger friend. They are for me-ee... But you may have one!
Narrator: The Ranger (Aragorn) is also touched by Gollum's good will, but Gollum's thoughts are still with his Precious.
Gollum (Aragorn): Oh Precious!
(I'm a Ranger!)
I can't wait for you to come!
(Oh yes, I came to kill your orcs!)
I've got a fisshy.
(You shared a fishy)
A yummy fisshy
(A yummy fishy)
Just for me for when you come.
(Though I'd love to tie you up,)
Only for me for when you come.
(I think you're quite in luck)
Both: Because I'm hungry!!!
(Another knock sounds at the rock!)
Gollum: Could that be Precious? Could that be IT! Could it be the one that eats away a hobbit-like creature like me... A good hobbit-like creature like me-ee!
Narrator: Gollum is now greeted by an agent of the Isari-from-over-the-seas!
Gollum: Who are you??
IOS agent: I'm Gandalf! And I've come to zap your...
(Gollum slams rock door in his face!)
Gollum: Oh Precious! I can't wait for you to come. I just can't wait for you to come...
(Frodo walks in, holding the ring, and he looks like he was hypnotized, because his eyes are all funny!)
Gollum (staring at the ring): It's finally Precious! It's finally come! At last! The one who eats away a hobbit-like creature like me... A good hobbit-like creature like me-ee!
Voice of the Ring: I'm the evil ring! And I've come to drive you nuts! Oh yes, I've come to drive you nuts. And I've come to eat you away Oh, oh, oh, oh! And I've come to freak you all out. And speak in... Black Speech... Wait-a-minute?? Isn't that Frodo's cloak? And what...
Frodo starts talking over the ring: And what are you doing with my SWORD?! So you're the ones...!!!
Sam: Wait-a-minute! I can explain...
Aragorn: We've CHANGED!!!
Frodo: Nobody messes with me, or MY ring!!! You know that, don't you? You've been very evil... AND I'M WRITING A BOOK!!!
Frodo chases them out of the hole, shouting, while Sam and Aragorn shout for help. Gollum looks after them, shocked. Gandalf walks back in.
Gandalf: Did you cook that?
Gollum: (Shakes head)
Gandalf zaps it, and walks away!
Gollum: I'm still HUNGRY!!!
The End
