A: Ah, a trisksy question, my precious, a tricksy question! The Shire, as it existed on this plane, lay to the North. However, the Shire also exists on the temporal plane, but in a radically different place. Alas though, it's location on the temporal plane has never been fixed, as all those who journey there are never heard from again. (not very funny...)
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Q: Of what relation was Merriadoc Brandybuck to Frodo Baggins?
...so I fired two warning shots. Into his head. - Chicago
I think I'll have a go and put in my two cents.. A: Oh but of course, it was Deagol... he tried to take our preciousss, it was a gift, for our birthday! We killss nassty Deagol... Q: How did Frodo's parents die?
'She', as Gollum put's it, is neither human nor living and the classification of gender doesn't work, so it could be either a she or he (Gollum obviously choosing the former). It is a dreaded clown. Gollum's scheme was to lead Frodo and Sam to 'her' where 'she' could practice her routine infront of them and they would be forced to applaud otherwise they would seem impolite (Orcs often obliged 'her', not to seem polite but of fear of what lengths 'she' would go to to get an applause). Gollum succeeded unfortunately and Frodo succumbed to the terribleness of the jokes, while Sam fought back and managed to slice the flower from off 'her' front, rendering it unable to squirt water.